more musings { the sidewalk

Ok, so I've calmed down after the family tech support affair.

I drank some coffee. Shut off work and spent the last 20 minutes listening to my 0xDEADBEEF playlist on iTunes and watching the world go by outside the window. I find this calming. I wrote a little in my personal journal. Here is what I've seen. This is what I've felt.

The airport shuttle come and pickup some people waiting at the coffeeshop.

An elderly Somali man wander slowly down the street disappearing from view, coming back 10 minutes later. Weather lines and sadness on his face. Why is he sad? What's his story?

I watched someone I call the 'bag lady'. I do not know who she is, but I've seen her all over town. In the subway (the term used in Rochester for the underground and above ground tunnel and skyway system that links together almost all of downtown). On the bus going to the Apache Mall. And, as now, wandering the streets. I've seen her with kids, but not for a long time. The last few months I've seen her around has been without what I believed were her children, but with a sad look, almost pained on her face. Is she ill? Is she homeless? What's her story?

I see the owner of the art gallery across the street, or at least I assume him to be the owner, he is a twin almost for the java-jock at the coffeeshop here. There is a sign in to window, store closing, 50% off. There are 3 stores on this block with similar signs. Why is the store closing? The rug store next to the coffeeshop is closing because the owner has the delusion of opening a bar...despite the fact there is a Pub two doors down from him and an upscale tapas and wine bar next to that. The furniture store is closing after 50+ years because the owner is retiring. The other furniture store is closing for a reason I have not been able to find out yet. The coffeeshop I am sitting in luckily will remain at least for a little while. I hope they last, they're the last local one. The rest are franchises or have closed already. Nothing in this town is open past 9pm it seems.

I see an endless stream of cars, SUVs, vans, and trucks...big loud trucks flow by. They blend into the scenery.

The sky is blue, the Sun is shining.

Kids, well technically teenagers, from the Children's Theater around the corner come in and order smoothies...there's still 10 inches of snow. The noise of the blender intrudes on my playlist. I'm listening to Buffalo Springfield's 'For What Its Worth'. Students and nurses start to filter by on the way to the Mayo employee lot down by Dos Amigos. This daily exodus starts around 3:30pm.

I want to ride my bike.

Winter continues.

The 6D city bus goes by, I've never bothered to look up that route. I take the 7/7A/7N.

I see people I know walk by, they do not see me behind the glass.

I think of the Cities.

I think of San Francisco.

I think of next weekend. We are hosting a dinner party.

I dream of being alone, my INTP side bleeding through in reaction to stress.

An odd meeting invite at work pops up...I contemplate if I should be worried. When did I become so paranoid and cynical at work?

I go back to thinking about Bag Lady and think of the other homeless person I used to see and realize I have not seen him since last summer. I think about the transient couple who used to ask me for money, the couple who a friend, who didn't have any money gave her mittens to because it was cold. I've haven't seen them since last spring.

Rochester is not friendly to those who are homeless or poor.

I think of someone I know in the Graduate School who is from the south who suffers from S.A.D. and hates the winter. He needs a date.

I need a haircut.

The nerd store in Rochester is weak.

An elderly couple from Michigan stop and contemplate the furniture store. Are they here because of the clinic? Maybe, they check a map and drive on.

I've been unfair to a co-worker. I need to rectify that, I still consider him a friend, but I've been hard on him.

I've been unfair to my team lead as well. He means well, but he does get in the way at times.

Le Tigre is awesome.

So is RJD2.

The Oak Street Cinema is going under again. I wish I had the money, I would buy that theater and restore it. It would be cool to own a movie theater and show cool films and movies. It would be cool to own a coffeehouse. Or would it?

Escalades are obscene. So are Navigators. They occur with high frequency in this town. The guy driving the Escalade looks like a twat, but that's not fair of me. I don't know him. He comes into the coffee shop. Its not his Escalade, he's a chauffeur. I remind myself to not be a twat and stop judging.

But this is just a game.