[Poetry] Collected Works of GeistX 1993-present

I used to use the handle 'Xen' back in my old MUSH/MUD/MOO days at the U of MN in the early-mid 90s. I also had a philosphy called 'Xenism' which was my take on religion, spirituality, politics, and life...I was in college...I was young (and ignorant of oh so many things). I created many 'Xenisms' in email that I sent to my friends. I had so many, that one friend printed them all off and created a collage that hung in the dorms on the girl's floor at Hamline for one semester. I gave nerdwife a book of poems that I wrote (I believe she stills has them). I called it 'Xenistic Poetry'. Here are my poems that I put on the web and the years they were written. Sadly this is but a fraction of what I wrote between 1993-2000. I wrote very little between 2001-2004 (hmmm...strange that...)


AML,M4,inv16,w/EOS
(2002, after I went into remission from AML)

I have journeyed to the end of the universe

one no bigger than the limits of my mind

I have seen infinity folded in on itself

and I still don't know why

I have walked with the specter of death

and seen God sit in a corner, no farther than an arm's breadth

I have been alone while surrounded by people

many sitting with their fingers clutched or steepled

I felt parts of my body die

I felt parts of it, like a phoenix, rise

I dreamed nightmares more vivid than thought possible

I have faced my worst fear and made it docile

I have witnessed a part of life

I have come to understand some of the strife

things as large as mountains high

seem now so petty, so benign

ffffffe0
(2000, yes I am a nerd, this is a poem about netmasks)

I can see you

you can't see me

I can hear you

you can't hear me

hello?

nothing

hello?

nothing

I change my mask

and now you are aware

Ecclectic Dreams of an unyet named Underworld
(1997, I was working nightshift)

I sit at night (or is it day?)

I sit and sometimes I pray

I pray to God or to whoever will listen

I was once, but am since no longer christened

I sit and the mind wanders and the dreams flow

sometimes they come but mostly they go

Through purple latex mirrored window panes twirling like smoke from a flame

Silver edged thoughts of unnamed places

Hemorraging filaments of foresaken graces

Lipid clouds of ivory white,

the mind sits and thinks thinks like a blight

Through the synopsis of what is what was what will be

the mind wanders and twists screaming in pain

moaning in ecstacy

warping in confusion

exposing the naked truth of thy innerself

Some more Words on a 2-D Screen
(1997, yes, I took lyrics from Primitive Radio Gods and Verve Pipe)
(a qausi-compilation)

Does summer come for everyone?

Can humans do what prophets say?

We go like lions through the crest and bathe ourselves in zebra flesh....

Does the mind see what the eye beholds?

Does the wind come...or go?

Where the sun ends and the moss begins,

is this the place that dreams lurk in?

Can we achieve more than we know?

When did childhood end and adulthood begin?

Why does life get harder the longer you live?

I never knew that we'd die for these sins...

we were merely freshmen...

Lamentations of the Cyber-age
(1997)

I sink in and let the electrons flow

the baud screams like a dying hawk

the monitor glows like an angel from heaven

I close my eyes and let the virtual engulf me

The hard drive blinks in a hypnotic pattern

and I forget who I am

I try hard to suppress all that is around me

I concentrate on the code nothing matters but the code

an orgasmic rush passes in waves as the bits fall into place

the door is unlocked and the information rushes in

I cannot stop it it sears through my mind like white hot flame

fueled as always by caffine

information overload the world crashes down

My mind goes blank I forget who I am I forget what I thought I ...

Memories flood in

childhood memories

memories of long ago

memories that hours of TV and lack of imagination have suppressed

simpler times better times

times before the machine

I sit and weep

innocence is lost