personal{ identity

It's time for a change, I think. I learned something really important about myself this year: passion for my work- my science- left me intensely vulnerable. Everyone I trusted knew how best to destroy me. And many of them have neatly taken advantage of this, and continue to do so.

I can't risk this scale of devastation again. Distance has shown me that I do know how to breathe when I'm not holding a pipetter; that things outside a microscope can be huge and beautiful; that I can think without gedakenexperiment, with some practice. Maybe I will eventually know who I am outside the lab. The scientific enterprise will roll on without me; with the scale of corruption I observed this spring, perhaps it's better that I no longer muddy those waters with techniques, work and actual data. No real facts are in danger of discovery in many labs at my former institution.

Scum-sucking pissant motherfucking assholes are pretty much a constant anywhere you go. But I can- I must- make their job more difficult. So here it is: I don't know what I'm going to do now. I just know what I won't.

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