musings { It's been over a year

It's been over a year since my last post. So, so, so much has changed. I can't even begin. This may (or may not) be my last post.

This blog was an outlet for me. It was a place where my friends and I could share and write ideas.

But so much of that has changed.

I sometimes wish I could go back in a time. Fix some mistakes. Prevent some regrets.

I'm in such a different place. Only time will tell if it's a better one or not.


musings { stuff

I have way too much stuff. In the move to Rochester I purged about 12 years worth of stuff, but I still kept a lot of sentimental stuff. This year I've purged more. If/when we move again I will purge more. I have a ton of sci-fi and RPG stuff. I think its time to put this up on e-Bay. Time to downsize my life.

With the exception of a handful of book (1st editions and such) I wish there was a way to get all my novels on digital media in a durable, open, reviewable, transferable format.


musings { what made me laugh this morning

from: something awful

Expectations: After extensively studying the trailer for Legion with my crack team of cowboy librarians, I've concluded that this movie will deliver one of three things: A) A tongue-in-cheek remake of the classic Christopher Walken abortion The Prophecy; B) A complete and utter mistranslation of the Book of Revelation; or C) a brainless action fest with a higher bullet/explosion/body count than the inevitably forthcoming Rambo: Fifth Blood.

Reality: The correct answer, as it turns out, is D) None of the above.

musings { death of a mentor

I found out last night one of my mentors from high school, someone who had a huge impact on my life, died from complications in recovery post heart surgery. I will call him on this blog Mr. F. He was my advanced mathematics teacher and senior year advisor. He saw potential in me, and lent me his college Calculus books so that I could start learning Calculus, since at the time our school only had Advanced Algebra as the highest math course.

The sands of time continue to drop through the hourglass of life.


food { Cafe Presto's coffeehouse to open Wednesday Jan 20

Cafe Presto's owner Pete felt the same way I did, there was no place in Rochester to get a good cup of espresso. Yeah there are a dozen chains like Dunn Bros, Starbucks, and Caribou, but with the closing of Cyber Cafe and Double Click the options for coffee from a locally owned placed dropped to "Bravo Espresso". "Bravo Espresso" makes good coffee don't get me wrong. But they are located in the Malls and subject to mall hours. Pete's new project "Cafe Di Milano" will be a coffee bar and sandwich shop. Nerdwife and I had breakfast in Cafe Presto this morning and Pete and his nephew Stefan treated us to a cup of coffee from their new place. It was good. He also gave us a tour of the place. Its modern, cozy and he purchased some top of the line espresso makers. They are doing a soft opening this weekend to work out the kinks and they are scheduled to go live on Jan 20. CDM is two doors down from Cafe Presto and right across from St Mary's hospital. I recommend checking them out and supporting a local shop. His beans are roasted special order from a place in LaCenter and it was good.

P.S. He is also excited because they will be offering Chicago style hotdogs...real Chicago style. I'm looking forward to it!


musings { 2000-2009 a retrospective hell


We're 10 years into the new millennium, "the future". My adult life thus far is encompassed by that decade. The decade where the innocence of youth was slain by the realities of adulthood.

Nerdwife and I were married in the last year of the 90s. A decade I look back to now with the fuzzy memories of nostalgia. Yeah times were tough and were not always the best, but I had the energy of youth and the feelings that nothing couldn't be overcome with some work.

The decade started with a fizzle. My first Presidential election where I decided to vote resulted in a political mess. No clear winner, President decided by the Supreme Court...the beginning of the Bush era and the decline of America. Only we didn't know it yet, illusions were created and fabricated and even to this day are kept in place about those 8 years and how truly fucked we were and still are. It left a bad taste in my mouth.

Then September 11, 2001. I'm not even gonna go there.

2002 was a year that hit me close to home. It was the year my life changed, forever. I was diagnosed with cancer. My life was paused for six months while I was treated and recovered. I watched two new friends die to the same disease I had, but I survived. The kick in the gut with cancer, is you're never cured. You're just in durable remission. Forever will I have a shadow in the background of my life following me. The shadow is uncertainty that I will or won't relapse. Or develop another cancer from the treatment or some other complications from the poisons used to treat the disease. Time helps, you think less of it. But its still there, it always will be, and for me it comes back during the dark, quiet moments of the night. It something a cancer survivor has to learn to cope with and deal with. Its part of the package.

2003 was a blur, just trying to get back into life. Nerdwife started looking at going to Graduate School.

2004 we move to Rochester. I got a job with an organization where my skills, I felt, would be put to helping people and making the world better. Rochester was a compromise. It wasn't a place that was first choice for either of us. It was going to be a way-station, a rest stop for a few years while Nerdwife got her PhD and I had a chance achieve a goal I've had of using my skills to help other people while still dealing with my "survivors guilt". And for a few years it was a nice rest, we met many new people, some who became friends. We took some trips, saw some real, live whales. Things were going good, the future was looking brighter. I started losing weight and became healthier.

2008, the dream became a nightmare, the rest-stop an oubliette. And we're still dealing with it. Its hard for us both now to trust anyone. Its hard for us to be close to people, since the people who did those terrible things (which one day I will talk about) to us were "friends". We're a bit adrift now, damaged. Still trying to sort out whats next and where do we go. What frustrates me is those people who conspired so elaborately to ruin our lives haven't done anything with what they won. They got what they wanted, and then they did nothing with it. Its caused depression, paranoia, I've lost all the progress I made with my weight loss due to depression and its damaged many personal relationships and friendships.

So 2010. It can't be any worse than the last 2 years have been. I'm hoping its better, I'm hoping this whole damn decade is better than the last one.

I'll be trying to make it better, its all I can do, dust myself off and try.


musings { *knock*knock*knock* *pffftttt* Hello? This thing on?

But seriously? WTF? Yeah I know, no posts for quite a while. Been summer, been busy. Had some distractions and issues. Plus I've been in a news cave, so nothings been really working me up enough to do anything.

Sure I've been raiding more, and could post a ton of stuff about World of Warcraft. But honestly, who cares? Its a bit inside and not relevant.

Let's see. Some changes in Rochester. I lost my beloved 2nd office at Double-Click when it closed, which was a while ago. But a new coffeehouse is going to open soon that could be a DCC-mkII.

I was looking through my written daily journal, which really hasn't been daily since 2006. I started my first journal in 2004, and it was full by 2005. This last one has been open four years. Looking back through it, it hasn't been filled with much joy. Seems like life's been in a bit of a holding pattern of suck. Time for a change.

Ideas are bubbling, plans are forming. We'll see. All I know is we've been in Rochester for the length of time we planned, and its time to move on. Sadly, its not under the circumstances to which we first moved down here. But a valuable life lesson was learned, sorry at the price of our planned future. I hope one day the people who did these things to us get what they deserve.


tv { Mental Bubblegum

Its been over five years now since we've had TV, real TV. As in cable or clear network TV. When we moved to Rochester we decided for mental health and initially financial reasons to cancel cable. For a while all the TV we had was channel 10 KTTC, off of bunny ears on a small TV in the bed room. Reception was terrible and I only watched it for the JV local news team at 10pm (which is horrible). With the digital conversion we don't even get that poor quality anymore.

I don't miss it. I've converted to watching things via Hulu.com and scifi.com et al. There really aren't many TV shows that interest me, but some times I find my mind wanting something fun and mindless. That is when I turn to...


I've become addicted to this pseudo-science show called 'Monsterquest' where people go around the world searching out and trying to prove monster myths. Its a lot better than UFO hunters or Ghost Hunters since they sometimes actually find things (like the episode of large sharks in fresh water miles from sea). Its by no means meant to anything more than entertainment and I find it fascinating because at heart I'm a Monster/Ghost/Paranormal/Unexplained Hunter.


in memoriam { dave arneson

I'm a few days late on this one, but I just wanted to take a moment to remember Dave Arneson, one of the co-creators of Dungeons and Dragons. I had the privilege to actually get to play D&D with Arneson at Twin Con a number of years ago. He was a down to earth DM and it was a lot of fun. He seemed like a nice guy, who lived in the Twin Cities as I understand it.

First Gary and now Dave. You guys provided me with so much, I couldn't even begin to calculate.

David Lance Arneson
October 01, 1947 - April 07, 2009

politics { Dear MN 6th District

Please do not re-elect Michelle Bachmann.

Thank you,

A 1st District voter


must_see_tv { Tyranny...

Very good episode, and illustrates the BS and the paranoia of the Fox News crowd as well as full-frontal-idiocy of Michelle Bachman.