travel { Day 1 - Vancouver, BC

I awoke at 6am local time promptly, even though I had gone to bed a few hours earlier because my body said it was 8am (my normal time of awakening). After a few minutes of my brain arguing with my body, I rolled over and promptly fell back asleep until 8am local time, which was 10am body time(my normal time of awakening on weekends). I was awake at this point and pumped!

Nerdwife and I talked briefly about what to do about our rental car and decided it could wait until after some breakfast. We dressed and do what we usually do when we travel, set out on foot to see more of the city around us. Damn! We're in an amazingly modern and hip part of the city (Yaletown). Modern high rises of amazing architecture towered above us, the smell of the sea wafted on the air. We picked a direction and started walking, soon discovering two things...we had hit the jackpot. Easily within four blocks of the hotel there are perhaps two dozen restaurants (of which at least 8 are sushi joints yay!) and, easily a dozen or more coffeehouses (more if you count Starbucks, which I don't)...I was in heaven. We walked and chose a restaurant at random, our random wanderings again paid off... we had found the world famous 'Elbow Room'. We didn't know what we had gotten into when we sat down. I looked around and started noticing things...signed pictures of people on the wall (and a large number of them pornstars), rules posted like "Rule #1 We'll bring the first cup, after that get a butler!" and they're motto "Food and service is our name. Abuse is our game." Also was a giant poster of George Bush with the words 'Stupid Fucking Moron' around his picture. In short this place was awesome. Our server was a bald middle aged man of incredible fabulousness. He was gentle on us as he could tell we were Elbow Room virgins, but the two primped and perfect women who sat next to us got such gems as 'Ladies just wait your food is like good sex, worth the wait, although if you live in this area, you haven't had sex in a while...I bet I get more than you do!". Next to us sat another couple, I think they were involved with the film business, at least from what I could discern eavesdropping and who were perhaps the most complicated food orderers I've ever seen anywhere. I always thought Nerdwife was embarrassing in the specificity of her ordering until these people sat next to us, Nerdwife I am sorry for judging you. He wanted an omelet, only not an omelet, scrambled eggs, whites only, no fat used in cooking, no meat, with vegetable combo and hashbrowns (not cooked with oil), no cheese and dry (unbuttered) multi-grain toast...and decaf...she (his wife, I'm assuming) ordered something equally extravagant...I didn't hear what it was exactly because I was laughing at the servers response to decaf coffee. 'We don't carry that shit here no more because you fucks wouldn't drink enough of it. We had to pour in the garbage all the time because coffee goes bad after 20 minutes.' She ordered something as complicated but stressed absolutely no meat to touch anything, to which server replied 'God fucking damn it I heard you the first time! You want no fucking meat in your fucking dish. If you don't fucking like meat so fucking much why did you fucking marry your husband, who I feel really sad for, you should just stayed with fish'. And he walked away. She asked quietly to her husband who was laughing his ass off, if she can respond, and he nodded and she said 'Well fuck you too!' to which the server, who heard it, from the kitchen yelled back 'Oh honey that's too lame to satisfy me!' and then came back to the table and said 'And you should know it only takes a pinky finger to satify me.' A little later after everyone's food arrived he returned and spoke to the 'perfect' women next to us (who also were complicated orderers) and said 'Oh you're a princess, but I'm a happy FUCKING QUEEN OH YEAH!'. The food was awesome (and served both our meaty and meatless tastes, the jalapeño sourdough toast is amazing). As we paid our bill to leave we were cashiered by the owner, who could tell we were new to town. He asked where we were from and we talked a little bit about the bridge collapse. He then went on to rant about how much of a fucking stupid moron our President is, and I agreed with him. He called Cheney something like 'Moron Jr.' As we were leaving he called out, 'Hey Minnesotans we like you, come back to see us again!' We plan to.

After the most excellent and entertaining breakfast I've had in longer than I can remember. We wandered a bit more constantly amazed by our location. I think we found the fabulous part of Canada.


Tonight, sushi awaits.

The sea air agrees with me and my allergies...as in I can breathe.